Everyone has heard the saying “Nice guys finish last”. Every time I hear this I get SO irritated. Recently I was called some vulgar names because I “led” a guy on and “friend zoned” him. Get ready for a vent-sesh.
I understand this is coming from a female perspective but if any male is reading this, and you believe you are a “nice guy”, listen up.
Also, this is all opinionated and might not be how every female feels about nice guys. If you’re offended, sorry.
1). Just because you think you’re a “nice guy” doesn’t give you the right to date every single girl on the planet. Being a gentleman doesn’t give you a pass…we have to be attracted to you in other ways. Looks, personality, humor; anything. Just because you are nice doesn’t mean we HAVE to find you date worthy. Where is this sense of entitlement coming from? You are not that special.
2). Hey. You weren’t friend-zoned. We just aren’t interested in you. For some reason this seems egotistical to me thinking that if a girl isn’t interested in you that you’re automatically friend zoned and that it’s possible for you to “escape” it. Like no I’m pretty sure 99% of the time the girl just isn’t interested and is being nice to you about it. And being “friend zoned” doesn’t mean you’re unattractive. I don’t understand this logic I guess.
This can go for girls too, except I’ve never heard of a girl getting friend zoned.
3). Just because you send a good morning text, doesn’t mean you get a pass either. In fact I HATE good morning texts.
4). Consistently complimenting someone can come off as clingy or annoying, at least to me.
5). “Assholes” win because they keep things interesting. And it’s not even that they’re actually assholes. Anyone who is not a”nice guy” is considered an “asshole”. Girls crave the feeling that they’re needed… They need to help in some way. We go after guys who are broken, mysterious, and guys who make it a chase. Well, not all girls, but most of them. At least the ones I hang out with are like this.
Guys who keep us guessing keep us around. Otherwise, it gets boring. It creates an endless cycle of hurt and pain but I guess that’s our fault. Good guys “lose” because they try too hard and vice versa. Whoever cares the most, loses. That’s always how it will be, and it sucks, but that’s life. It’s the harsh truth but at least it’s honest. If you’re wondering why you keep getting “friend zoned”, this is why: We are just not that into you. Get over it. Try a different approach or go after someone different. You rarely (if ever) hear a girl complain about a guy “friend zoning” her because girls can take hints and guys can’t. I’m always straight up but I understand not everyone is like this. It can probably go for either guys or girls and in reality, nice girls lose too.
I guess what I’m saying is that I’m tired of being the one to blame if my feelings towards someone are not the same as theirs towards me. Nobody can help the way they feel so please don’t be angry or upset with people if the feelings aren’t mutual. That’s crazy!
If someone isn’t interested in you, don’t get hurt over it, just move on.
That’s all. 😊